merchandise
Yay!! It's
Steve Goodie Merchandise for you to BUY!!
Holy crap! Steve has released TWENTY-EIGHT ALBUMS!
And here they are, in reverse chronological order.
.
Click one of the CD covers above...
to jump to that CD below:
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Here's the latest album!

F.U. 2016 cover
      F.U. 2016
To order,
choose a version:



or


Well gosh, 2016 sure did suck! With all the celebrity deaths, and the nightmare election... what we all need is thirteen or fourteen new stupid songs from Steve! And that's what you get with this new CD... plus two funny videos and two hidden tracks, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version! Hear some previews here...

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Dick Heads · The Weird Al Country Medley · I Wanna Eat A Big Piece Of Cheese · The Year The Big-Mouth Asshole Fucking Won · Dumb Americans · Shit Shower And Shave · Cheat Sheets · Blue Bayoobs · Downtown · He Ain't Breathing · Oh Darn It · Steve's Harry Potter Medley · Nina · The Twit In Twitter

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2016

What And Quit Showbiz cover
What, And Quit Showbiz??!!
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or

All through 2015, Steve spent far too many hours coming up with ridiculously gross songs. Don't know why... he just did. And now, as 2016 dawns, here's a batch of gross melodies. There are sixteen practically brand-new songs, plus two funny videos and one hidden track, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version! Hear some previews here...

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Love Me (On) Tinder · Those Things You Do · I'm Donald Trump · Endoscope · Walk Of Shame · Sleep With The Whole Band · I Just Sneezed In My Pie · The Gump-Bieber-Poop Medley · I Dropped My Phone In The Toilet · F U R2D2 · Itchy Song #1,543 · My Dog Never Multi-Tasks · Do Your Job · Nice Guys Finish Last · Don't Be A Dick · War On Christmas Is Over · Love Me (On) Tinder - live

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2014

I Love My Job cover
I Love My Job
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or

2014 is nearly over, and Steve can't let it end without a new batch of stupid songs on a shiny new CD for YOU! This one has thirteen new(ish) songs, plus one or two funny videos and five hidden tracks, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version!

Hear some previews here...

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: I Love My Job · That Brat Bieber · The Big Bang Theory Song · Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road · Shutdown · Steve The Pirate · Forrest Does Jenny · Dot Matrix Printer · Headin' Down To Nashville · Miley The Sequel · What's In My Hotdog - live · I Just Threw Up · Lookin' Out My Back Door

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2014

I Cant Wait cover
I Can't Wait
The Complete Harry Potter Compilation

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choose a version:



or

For years people have said to Steve, "Steve, why don't you combine all of your Harry Potter songs into one collection?" Well now he has! 22 songs about everyone's favorite negative influence, more or less in chronological order, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version!

Hear some previews here...

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Quidditch Ball Wizard · It Saw Her Standing There · Harry's Wand · Goblet Of Fire · Dudley's Cryin' · Rowling Must Deliver · Dumbledore · This Dude Ron Ron Ron · Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Malfoys · Hermione/Fly · Malfoy The Flying Ferret · Avada Kedavra · Harry Sings His Tragedy · A Day In The Life Of Harry · Act Pottery · I Am The Horcrux · Harry's Girl · Umbridge Bloody Umbridge · Dobby Can You Hear Me · Why Can't We All Get A Longbottom? · Mr. Grint · Dumbledore's Army

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2013

Drinks Well With Others cover
Drinks Well With Others
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or

All through election year 2012, Steve wrote and recorded a bunch of crap. Now that 2013 has arrived, effectively spiting the Mayans into submission, this CD has burst into existence! With eleven crazy new songs, plus two funny videos, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version! Hear all the previews here...

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: I Drink Well With Others · The Sandwich Song Singalong · This Year I'm Pulling Christmas... · Betty Rubble remix 2012 · Out In The Backyard · Shall We Slap A Slut For Speaking · The Pat Benatar Hair-Loss Medley · Nobody To Vote · Before He Speaks · Romney Can You Hear Me · Hey Fred Phelps

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2011

Pardon My French cover

Pardon My French



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Not since "Falling Standards" back in 1997 has Steve been quite so resolutely profane and verbose. This is the rocking album you have been waiting for! (That is, if you sit around and wait for rocking albums that are profane and verbose.) There are 12 rocking profane songs, plus two funny videos, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version! And yes, the download verison comes wtih all the graphics and liner notes you'd get with the CD. Hear all the previews here...

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Dr. Demento Intro · If You Want To Say Fuck Say Fuck · What's In My Hotdog · Before He Tweets · You Rich Motherfuckers · So Weird · Plumbing · What Do You Get The Girl Who Has Everything · Getting Old (Is Getting Old) · Resolution · My Face · My Pal The Murray · Dire Straits

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2010

Something To Sneezze At cover

Something To Sneeze At


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On November 19th, 2010, the seventh (yet somehow not final) installment of the Harry Potter movie series hit every theater in the universe. This event, of course, required Steve to create another batch of parodies based on the books we love [and on the accompanying movies that inevitably disappoint Steve]. On Something To Sneeze At you get 19 kid-pleasing songs (including 12 Harry Potter numbers), plus two funny videos, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version! And yes, the download verison comes wtih all the graphics and liner notes you'd get with the CD. Hear all the previews here...

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Dumbledore · Malfoy The Flying Ferret · Avada Kedavra · Harry Sings His Tragedy · A Day In The Life Of Harry · Act Pottery · I Am The Horcrux · Harry's Girl · Umbridge Bloody Umbridge · Dobby Can You Hear Me · Why Can't We All Get A Longbottom? · Mr. Grint · Ice Cream Man · Girl Talk (Disclaimer #1) · Braces · Halloween · Ecstasy Of The Bilious Waterpoodle · Mucus To My Ears (Disclaimer #2) · Brown Booger

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2009 / 2010

The Least I Can Do cover
The Least
I Can Do
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or

$2 from each CD or album-download sale of "The Least I Can Do" goes to the Environmental Defense Fund.

Pilots are tweeting! Oil is gushing! Tiger is diddling! Swine flu is nasty and icky! It's a songwriter's paradise! (didn't I read this somewhere before?) And here's Steve's latest, with sixteen funny songs and six funny videos, all for just $12 for a CD, or $10 for the download version! And yes, the download verison comes wtih all the graphics and liner notes you'd get with the CD.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Hey Birthday Boy · Tweetin' On A Jet Plane · The Twelve Signs Of Swine Flu · I Bagged A Tiger! · Divorcing The Kids · Les's Morgue · Dumpster Diving · Dumbledore - live! · Fuzzy Navel · The Least I Can Do · Lazy Boy · A Guy Walks Into A Bar · Hey Birthday Girl · Bye Bye W · Black Water (BP version) · The Pedley (hidden track... shhhh!)

PLUS SIX VIDEOS - Black Water (BP version) · Tweetin' On A Jet Plane · The Twelve Signs Of Swine Flu · Dumbledore - live! · Bye Bye W · The Pedley

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2008

700 Billion Dollars cover
Brother Can You Spare Seven Hundred Billion Dollars?

It's time to vote again!
And just in time for Election 2008, here's another CD from Steve! It has fifteen funny songs, eight funny commercials, PLUS three videos. WOW! All that for just $12! That's a savings of $699,999,999,988.00!

SONGS AND VIDEOS ON THIS ALBUM: Commercial #1 · Seven Hundred Billion Dollars · (I'm Thinkin' 'Bout Nailin') Sarah Palin · Commercial #2 ·Frank's Garage · Oh They Built Another Bomb · Commercial #3 · National Brotherhood Week · Friends On Myspace · I Confess · Commercial #4 · Thank God Thanksgiving · Calling Dr. Phil · The Road To Hell · Commercial #5 · Tell Michelle My Cell · Outside The Box · Lower The Bar · Harry Sings his Tragedy · A Day In The Life Of Harry · Commercial #6 · Commercial #7 · Commercial #8 · PLUS THREE MUSIC VIDEOS!

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2008

Stupid Country cover
Welcome To
Stupid Country
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or

Steve was stupid before stupid was cool... as documented here!
This is Steve's first strictly country CD, with twelve goofy, stupid country songs. You'll come for the NASCAR song, but you'll stay for the Mandolin song! Click the titles below to hear some previews. $12 for CD, or $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: The NASCAR Song · Where Would I Be Without Me · Handlin' My Mandolin · Sweat The Small Stuff · I Need A Parking Spot · I Opened Up My Heart (And My Brain Fell Out) · You're Better Off With Me · Why Does It Take So Long (To Record A 3-Minute Song) · Take It Back · Loving Her (Is Like Playing At The Bluebird Cafe) · Stand By Your Van · Thank God I'm A Country Star

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2007

Let's Get Good-n-Heimered cover
Let's Get
Good-n-Heimered!

Steve's comedy/bluegrass group The Wizenheimerz has FINALLY got a CD out!
This is the next phase in stupid music, and it's so very wrong that you simply MUST have it! It has 18 songs, plus a bonus track -- what a deal! Click the titles below to hear some previews. $10 (download).

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: The NASCAR Song · Shitty Li'l Love Song · Thinkin' Of You · In A Waffle House In Alabama · Her Side / His Side · That's Why Sometimes Daddies Need To Drink · Grandpa's Dead · Seal Pup · Never Not · He Kissed Her Lips · Handlin' My Mandolin · Fugly · Whipped · Pain · Cowtipping · Seven Shallow Graves · Pedley · Our Boy And Bubba

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2006

Refrigerator Art cover
The best, finest, greatest, most incredibly awesome

REFRIGERATOR ART

in the whole entire universe

New original rocking kids' songs for 2006!
Entirely from the point of view of a six-year-old, this funny record ROCKS OUT. Steve teamed up with children's author Louie Lawent to create eleven all-new kids' songs, which grown-ups are going to love too! $10 for download version (which includes all the graphics and music of the CD version).

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Refrigerator Art · Are We There Yet? · He's A Bully · I Just Want To Help · Halloween · I'll Be Good · Little Sister (Ooly Gooly Baka Hu) · Quitcher Whining! · Gotta Clean My Room · I Don't Wanna Go To Bed · Not Me

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August 2005

Objects In Mirror cover
objects in mirror

Steve's group "actual size" has a second CD for 2005! Steve and Andy Corwin continue the wacky two-part harmony on topics such as hypochondriac pirates, Jimmy Buffett's lifestyle, and of course George W! Go to www.actualsizemusic.com to see and hear more! $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Steve The Pirate · Go Forth My Son · Jimmy Buffett (Somebody Else Got To Be) · How Come You Ain't Dead Yet · The Dollar Bill Song · If I Was You · My Conservative Girlfriend · Passing Trains · There You Have It, There You Are · In A Waffle House In Alabama

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July 2005

When Harry Met Charlie
When
Harry Met
Charlie
FREE
with purchase of
"Refrigerator Art"
album download

Harry Potter AND Charlie And The Chocolate Factory...
all set to popular music! This is another totally G-rated, sure-to-be-a-hit-with-the-kids CD, full of nutty parodies about magic and chocolate. YEAH! Featuring the voices of Alison Larkin, this CD is free with the purchase of "Refrigerator Art!" (while supplies last)

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Goblet Of Fire · Dudley's Cryin' · Rowling Must Deliver · Dumbledore · This Dude Ron Ron Ron · Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Malfoys · Hermione/Fly · Walk On The Wonka Side · Wonka Gold · Veruca · This Fudge · Steve The Pirate · Sachio · Birthday Munky

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November 2004

Steve's Greatest Kids' Hits
Steve's
Greatest Kids' Hits

Volume 1

Okay - you want kids' songs, with no bad words or grown-up subject matter? Here's the collection of your dreams, just in time for the holidays. All the Harry Potter songs to date are here, plus a few selections from Girlband, a song for Sara (Steve's adorable niece), and a bunch of other fun stuff for kids of all ages! $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Quidditch Ball Wizard · It Saw Her Standing There · Harry's Wand · I Live In A Green Toyota - Shrek 2 version · I Wanna Be That Moose · Bedwetter · Sara · Buy My Cookies · Poop On That · Pajamas Of My Mind · Talk In Espanol · Quidditch Ball Wizard (live version)

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October 2004

You Stink George W cover
YOU STINK
GEORGE W!

The Partridge Family meets our stupidest president! It's Steve's THIRD CD of the year 2004! Holy crap! You see, October rolled around, and Steve went nuts with inspiration - mostly due to the upcoming presidential election, and the incredible amount of bovine-feces surrounding it. There's no Harry Potter on this album. Instead, there's a great deal of flatulence and jokes at Dubya's expense, plus a jab or two at Martha Stewart, obnoxious users of cell phones, and binge-drinking. Yay! $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: You Stink George W! · Martha My Dear · Breakfast In A Bottle · Hey There, Georgy Boy · Don't Hear The Beeper · Soap Gets In Your Eyes · Big SUV · Channel E · Somebody Farted · The Ballad Of Wanda And Dino ·

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May 2004

Pottered Meat cover
POTTERED MEAT
Choose a version:



or

June 2004 brings us Steve's CD of nutty song parodies! With another Harry Potter tune ("Harry's Wand," which was #1 on the Dr. Demento Show for four weeks), and some fun at the expense of American Idol, SUVs, plumbers, and bedwetters, Pottered Meat continues the proud tradition of Steve's ridiculous stuff! $12 for CD, or $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Harry's Wand · Shut Up · Shatner · Stand By Your Van · I Live In A Green Toyota - Shrek 2 version · Butt Crack · Duct Tape · Renting (live version) · Ned Beatty (live version) · Quidditch Ball Wizard (live version) · Bedwetter · Nursery Rhyme Moyel · J-Lo And Ben

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January 2004

Measuring Up cover
measuring up

Steve's group "actual size" is full of republican-bashing for 2004! Steve has teamed up with Andy Corwin, formerly of The Foremen, to make the most of this election year. Some new stuff, and some re-worked old stuff. Go to www.actualsizemusic.com to see and hear more! $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Cowboy By Day... · Lie Lie Lie (political version) · Actual Size · Every Man For Himself · An Agnostic Gospel Song · Extra · Sex, Drugs, and Bill Monroe · She's Jewish · Travelin' Hard · Pain · Ain't No Liberal · Song About Nothing

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2003

Extra Extra cover
Extra!! Extra!!

Current events (well, they were current in 2003) were never so damn FUNNY... hear what's going on with Saddam, W, Osama, Larry King, Enron, and (of course) Eminem and Ricky Martin! PLUS... Jewish Christmas Carols! $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Suspenders · Saddam'll Be My Target (I Want Osama) · Da Enron Ron Ron· I Live In A Green Toyota · Constipated · Jewish Christmas Carol Medley · Boobs! (I Did 'Em Again) · Me And Timmy McV · Extra · Burpo The Scary Clown

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2002

Show-Off cover
Show-Off!

Eleven wacky songs for 2002! Features not one but TWO Harry Potter songs, fun with sexy cartoon characters, and the world's MOST DISGUSTING SONG EVER. $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Skinny Woman · Quidditch Ball Wizard · Betty Rubble · Puff The Magic Rapper · Brown Booger · Chat Room · It Saw Her Standing There · (Please Don't Make Me Eat) Sushi · Grandpa's Dead · That Motel Smell · My Girl Goes

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2002

The Nudniks!
The Nudniks!

Presenting Steve's nutty 4-person Jewish comedy singing sensation! Websters defines 'nudnik' as an annoying, unbearable windbag. But do it in 4-part harmony, and you have an act! Particularly if you're Jewish. $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: B'Mir Bist Du Schon · Moses · I Want To Be Irish · My Little Babushka · My Bubbie's A Killer · Hi Mom, It's Me · Mendel The Reindeer · Twist Of The Dreidel · Nudnique · Katusha · Those Were The Days · Let's Go Plant A Tree

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2001

Hey Hey Howdy!! It
Hey Hey Howdy!!
It's Girlband!

What do you get when two six-foot guys start singing about training bras and slumber parties? That's right - GIRLBAND! Steve went kinda nuts in 2001, and this two-man band is the result. Check it out - it's totally G-rated, making it a great gift for kids of all ages (and genders). $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Slumber Party · Buy My Cookies · Poop On That · The Pajamas Of My Mind · My Brother's Coming Back · Pinky Swear · Ms. G · Talk In Espanol · Training Bra · Real Good Cry · Boys Are Stinky · Braces

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2000

Tail To The Chief cover
Tail To The Chief

So ya like parodies? And ya like solo-Steve? Here's an original homage to the Clinton presidency, to take you back to a more innocent time. HA! $10 for download version.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Monica · Chimpanzee · Renting · Technical Writer · Uncle (Marv) Albert · Here Comes My Son · Chocolate Cream Pie · Heaving On A Jet Plane · Single Mom · Moronic · Virile Man (Tail To The Chief)· Snow White And The Seven Deadly Sins

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1999

We Just Want You To Be Happy cover
We Just Want You To Be Happy

Steve's second offering as part of The Two Jew Revue, this one is even nuttier than the first TJR album (below). $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: My Bubbie's A Killer · Planet Syndicadio · Maniac On The Interstate · Three Bucks An Hour · No Groupies · I Confess · Hit By A Train · Parking Spot · Crisis Center Hotline Volunteer · Pre-Arranged Wedding · Hit In Outer Space · Pain · Student Of Being F***ed Over · Monica

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1998

The Two Jew Revue cover
The Two Jew Revue

Steve teams up with Jacob Kantor to create the closest thing to The Smothers Brothers since Erma Bombeck. Wacky songs abound. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Lie Lie Lie · Whiskers And Me · She's Jewish · Penelope, Arthur, and Stanley · Whipped · Bacon · Hi Mom, It's Me · What's He Got That I Don't Got? · Wedding Bells · Sex With The Ex · Extra

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1997

Falling Standards cover
Falling Standards

16 original songs in the classic solo-Steve tradition. Biting, silly, goopy - this one has it all. $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Sex With The Ex · Whipped · The Vomit Song · Neighborhood Titty Bar · Pregnant · I Can't Believe You Left Me For A Dork Like That · Horny Desperate Guy · (I Wrote You A Song And) I Want It Back · Rules · Cringing Bastard · No Butt · Hey Look My Way · My Brothers · (Oh God) If I Were You (I'd Be So Sick Of Us) · Hey Scout · Pretty Day

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1995

Mouthful cover
Mouthful

Okay... the year was 1995... OJ was all over the news... no one had heard of Monica Lewinsky yet... Osama bin Laden was still being trained by the CIA... and Steve released his first CD of parodies. "Hysterical!" "Great production!" "It's shiny and round!" $12.

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: Yer In-Bred · So Happy Together · Chromosome · Ned Beatty · 60s Medley (Louie Louie, Like A Rolling Stone, Aquarius) · Little Gerbil · Like A Dog · Texaco · Redneck · In A Waffle House In Alabama · Thank God I'm a Country Star · A Day In The Life (for O.J.)· Yesterday (for Kato)

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1993

Self-portrait cover
Self-Portrait Of The Artist
As An Angry Young Man
Choose a version:



or

It's Steve's first CD! And he hates it now. It's out of print, but there are a few left. Bound to be a collector's item, it contains some of Steve's (very) early live standup performances, and a bunch of wacky songs. $12 for CD, or $10 for the download version.

STANDUP COMEDY ON THIS ALBUM: Groceries · Holidays/Family · The Zoo · Frosty The Snowman · Commercials · Housekeeping · Skipper · No Sweat etc. · Golf

SONGS ON THIS ALBUM: They Only Fight Occasionally · Closet Heterosexual · In A Waffle House In Alabama · Boneheads On My TV · I Put Her Toothbrush In The Mail (And I Addressed It To Hell) · Virile Man

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Oops!
Compact Discs To
Put Your Drink On

These are rough drafts that didn't turn out so well. Personally signed and numbered by Steve himself, they provide an excellent way to protect your desk, coffee table, hardwood floor, or bicycle seat from damage due to condescension. Lovely gold or green tone. Various manufacturers. $10.
* Order now and receive a free used oil filter!



The Self-Help Book You've Been Waiting For
book cover
Book $25
(printed at home by Steve)
CD-ROM $10
(read it onscreen, or print it out!)
Click here to learn more about this life-changing tome.

Hers 'n' His Rude T-Shirts
Hers.
MEN are...
$10

Need some new pajamas? Something to wash the car in? A 100% cotton garment that'll really annoy the opposite sex? Steve's nifty T-shirts are what you are looking for! One size (XL) fits all, cause that's all Steve stocks. If it's too big, warsh it in hot a few times. Cotton'll shrink, dontcha know... If it's too small... consider it "skimpy" and "sexy" and "daring!" $10.
His.
WOMEN are...
$10


In With The Old, Out With The Newt
Rush Is Fat
$1

$1

Fun Stickers For Your Bumper, Office, Pets, Or Forehead
$1, or get one free with any order of 2 or more other items. (Limited supply - Steve may run out at any time.)




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